When you get engaged, one of the things that comes next is logistics. When? Where? How much? Sure having a big celebration and inviting everyone you know is tempting! You want to share this excitement with as many people as possible. But as the prospective costs start to add up many brides start to evaluate what is important and what is frivolous. Usually the first thing to be trimmed is the guest list – after all most people do not want to get married in a massive arena like the BOK Center in Tulsa! Small weddings are catching on in Oklahoma!
How to send out invitations without getting unwanted guests
Clearly address each invitation to who you want to attend by name. You might even consider stating something like “due to the intimate nature of our wedding, we respectfully request that no plus ones attend”
Who is more important: old friends or new friends?
Stick to a system. My suggestion is to only include those you would call in times of crisis or major life change.
I come from a large family, how do I handle wedding invitations?
Keeping family invitations under control can become troublesome. While many will tell you first cousins are mandatory I would counter this statement. Do you spend holidays with these cousins? How about birthdays? If the answer is no to both I would venture to say that they are not a must invite unless you are close.
If you are still worried about how the extended family will take not being invited I suggest a low-key cookout to soften the blow for family only. Another option is to set up a live stream for family to log into.
Often both sides of the family will throw a celebratory party in lieu of a shower as a way to replace the wedding gathering. This is a much lower-key affair and in my opinion more enjoyable too.
How can we handle invitations for children?
If they are too small to sit still and are not a child with whom you have a close bond I suggest adding a line (no children under 18 please). Children will have trouble sitting still, remaining quiet and paying attention to what is going on. In short, kids will be kids.They will want to have room to move. Many small weddings are held in smaller venues and do not offer a space for kids to do what they do. I clearly remember being a child at family members’ weddings. I played with my cousins, trashed the get away car and had lots of fun, but I cannot tell you who got married in most cases!
Bottom line.
A wedding is supposed to be about you. The Bride and the Groom. The Happy Couple. Don’t let anyone guilt you into including anything that does not suit you. Take a Marie Kondo approach. If it doesn’t bring you joy let it go.
